Living in Awe.

I grew up hearing people talk about being "in awe" of God.  It was such a weird thing for me to fathom because "awe" is not an emotion I often experience.  I admire a painting, but I'm not in awe of it.  I'm impressed by an athlete, but I'm not in awe of them.  I love God, but I'm not in awe of Him.  At least I haven't been - until Friday.

I think this is because I've often mistaken awe for an exhausting or belittling thing.  Like in order to stand in awe, I'd need to become less of a person.

But it's not like that..  

It's more like being willing to be amazed. To not know so much that you are unimpressed. To let the common things blow your mind from time to time. Friday I saw a bird.

I was driving to school (I'm a teacher), and it was dark.  That dusky kind of dark that happens when the sun is being held captive behind a hedge of cloud.  As I drove, a large, long bird soared across the road over my head.  The world seemed to freeze for a moment.

Awe.

The God who made that bird - who taught it how to fly - that same God loved me enough to put a calling on my life.  Put a calling, and see it through.  I'm exactly where I need to be.  I've never been so sure.  The God of the universe did that for me.  I'm important, but I'm small; and I'm okay with that.

If this isn't awe, then I don't know what is.

Identity.

I've been thinking a lot this week.  I mean... I think a lot normally, but this week I've really been thinking; about why we are who we are, and whether or not that's okay.

What is identity?

If you asked me to define myself, where would I begin?  I might begin by describing myself as bubbly, fun-loving, and outgoing.  But these aren't my identity; they are my attributes.  They are the very surface level of who I am.  They are the first things even strangers will see about me.

Next, I could say that I do art, that I love to sing, that I'm a cat person... but these things aren't me either.  They are things I find delight in; they are things that fill my time, but these still do not define me.

Well then, I am a teacher.  I am a daughter.  I am a friend.  This is the third layer of who I am, and this is where society normally stops.  Good enough, right?  You've found you're talent, and you've made a life for yourself based on what you value.

Yes, 

but no.

These things are my labels.  These are my job descriptions.  They may be based on my heart's desires, but these things are not my heart itself.  They are not my core.  They are not my identity.

So what is my identity?

When I stepped back and I thought about who I am, I had to peel back each of these layers. They had previously seemed adequate; it used to be enough to be bubbly, or love to sing, or to be a teacher.  But these things aren't my true driving force, and when I thought about each of the them in turn, I realized how easily they could be taken away.  They are not where I should find my true value.

My core passions are to love, serve, and express.  They often intermingle.  I love others by serving them - by being selfless - and I express my affection through the things I do.  I realized that these are the things Jesus calls us to, and no person or circumstances can take them away.  In fact, He doesn't just call us to give them a try, He calls us to be them.  He calls us to be Jesus.  To put off our old selves (Ephesians 4:22), take up our crosses (Matthew 16:24), and become like Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18).  We do this by spending time in prayer and in His word, because we become like who we are around the most.  Are we perfect all the time?  No.  Obviously.  But as we change our mindset, being more like Jesus becomes a habit.  I can promise you this because I'm personally experiencing it and it's awesome.  It's encouraging and empowering.

This should be our identity: to seek Christ, know Christ, and become like Christ.

Don't be discouraged.  Don't be scared of "failure".  This isn't daunting, really, because we're just accepting an invitation to a journey that God wants to take us on.  The Maker of the Universe wants you to succeed.  He wants to be your identity.  All you have to do is surrender your selfishness, and let him.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come."

This can be your future.

This can be your identity.