What is Love? - Agape

What is Love - Agape

1)     Where it Begins                                                                                             

v  Anyone take the challenge to learn a new verse?

Main Point: God is love, and this love is a choice, not a feeling.

ü  Discuss: Love is such a versatile word - we use it for everything. How many ways is the word “love” defined and used in our culture?

-          According to our research, there are five different “types” of love used and eluded to in the Bible: agape, phileo, eros, epithumia, and storge. Tonight we will be addressing the first, most common and most difficult love: agape.

2)     The Meat                                                                                                        

I.                    What is agape?

Watch Jimmy Evans: Five Types of Love (1:09 – 5:38)

-          All the verses in this study use the Greek word “agape” or “agapao” when they say “love”. As we read keep that in mind. So far we’ve been learning that our salvation, relationship with Christ, and our interaction with others should be built on love, not rules.

·         Mark 12:30-31 Jesus said, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart (life core) and with all your soul (breath and feelings) and with all your mind (understanding and desire) and with all your strength (ability and might).’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

-          This love, this agape, it’s a full-body experience. It requires commitment and involvement. From this verse alone we see that while agape love can be expressed through fondness, soul is only part of the picture. Agape is also fused with our life source, enacted by choice, and driven by force. Doesn’t sound as easy as loving chocolate, does it?

--- side note: before we continue I want to draw some attention to love your neighbor as…who? Yourself. We can interpret this as treat others the way you want to be treated (which is biblical), but the verse doesn’t say treat; it says agape. Ephesians says we are God’s workmanship. Psalms says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. 1 Corinthians says our bodies are temples. Take care of yourself, respect yourself, and love yourself as God’s beloved creation. Don’t do yourself harm, don’t call yourself worthless. Agape yourself so that you can agape others.

II.                  How God agapes.

-          So if we’re going to agape, we should probably take a look at how God does it.

·         1 John 4:7-10 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

·         John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world he gave his only son.”

·         Romans 5:8 – “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

ü  What themes are you seeing? What are the characteristics of this love that God has demonstrated for us?

-          Agape can be painful. Obviously it wasn’t easy for God to send his son – a part of himself – away. It wasn’t fun for Jesus to be tortured and die. And not only that, but God did those things for people who didn’t deserve them with no guarantee that we would even accept him. He knew this, but he was determined. Unconditionally and selflessly he gave. This is agape.

III.               How we agape.

-          So what does that mean for us? Never fear, 1 John continues its discourse on God’s agape love with instructions for us, like as if he knew we’d ask…

·         1 John 4:11-21 “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother (fellow man) is a liar. For whoever does not love their fellow man, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their fellow man.”

-          There is no fear, because it’s not about us. We’ve been forgiven so we are not afraid of being punished. We love unconditionally so we are not afraid of not being paid bacl. We love because of God, not ourselves.

ü  Any extra thoughts or observations before we break into groups?

3)     Break Out Groups                                                                             

·         Luke 6:27-31: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

-          It’s easy to love people who are good to us, but loving people who hurt us is hard,

ü  Who are your enemies? Why? How have you dealt with your anger?

-          Sometimes even people we wouldn’t classify as enemies, we treat with contempt.

ü  Are there any people who are your friends/family who can bring out the worst in you? Why?

-          If you’re harboring bitterness, bless and pray for the people you’re angry at. Don’t try to get them back for what they taken from you. (Proverbs 20:22 “Do not say, "I will repay evil"; Wait for the LORD, and He will save you”) Pray a prayer of blessing over your enemies; it will help you to forgive and move on. You have no right to be angry because if God (who does have every right to be angry) forgives, then so can you.

Living in Love.

I've recently started teaching a Bible study. To my dismay as a teacher, I realized that attendance can be very inconsistent. "But people are missing out on life changing Jesus messages!" I cried. Then I remembered I have a blog. So I'll be posting my lesson outlines (that's why they're not in traditional blog format) on here. Enjoy!

I.                    What is the therefore there for?

-          Before we dive into the instructions outlined for us as Christians in Col. 3:12-17, let’s begin by reading a little earlier on for context. Colossians 3:12 begins with “Therefore…”, but why? Obviously what Paul is about to say is directly related to what he was saying before, so let’s look at what that is.

·         Colossians 2:20-3:11

ü  First of all, is there anything that sticks out to you?

 II.                  Dead.

-          Before we continue to pick out the truth from this passage let’s address something: our old self is dead. You’ve heard it said “whatever you feed the longest becomes the strongest” but that’s not true in the sense that you have two natures at war within you. While it does stand that if you continue in sinful thought patterns which form habits, and engage in a lifestyle that makes it easier to indulge in them it will be harder for you to live a godly life otherwise. However, that doesn’t mean we still have our old man chilling inside like a zombie waiting to come back to life. You’ve been completely cleaned out from him. Focusing on a list of don’ts puts your attention back on the things your flesh used to be slave to. Christ points us back heavenward.

·         Colossians 3:3-4 “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory”

ü  What do you think it means by “Christ who is your life?” Why didn’t Paul say, “Christ who gives you life?”

-          Directly translated according to the original Greek and mildly paraphrased, these verses are saying, “Your life (earthly nature) is dead (hidden, done away with) and now Christ is your life (same word).” He’s not just giving you a new life; he himself is becoming your new life. The old nature is completely replaced – it doesn’t exist anymore.

·         2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

·         Galatians 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

III.               Habits.

-          Let’s backtrack now. Since we’ve established that we’re free from sin in the freest way possible, let’s address the beginning of what we read.

·         Colossians 2:20-23 – Paul is addressing how people judge one another by laying down “Do not…”’s in regards to what they “eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day”. He told them not to worry about rules like this. At first this really bothered me because I thought, “Well how are we supposed to break habits and become better Christians if we don’t know what not to do? It’s important to know specifics, right?” But what Paul is pointing to is the motivation behind our lists and obedience, and where that puts our focus.

ü  What words do you see in these verses that address motive

·         John 14:15&21 – “If you love me, you’ll obey my commands.”

ü  What should our motive actually be? (love for God)

-          Paul makes the point that while these world-imposed regulations appear to be wise, their core value isn’t based on looking heavenward – the focus is on looking holy here on earth. Ultimately they deal with the action and not the motive. If our motive is loving a God who loves us back, our actions will automatically follow suit.

·         Col. 3:1 – he goes on to say that we’ve been raised (from death to a new life dedicated to God) from our earthly vices so we should…

·         Col 3:2 – set our hearts (affection, understanding, feelings, thoughts, interests – everything) on the things above.

ü  What happens when we turn our focus from the negative to the positive?

-          Paraphrasing, Paul is saying in these beginning verses that we should kill the habits (not the nature – that’s already dead) we used to have (which are the reasons wrath is coming – they are a real problem) so we can put on (sink into) the new you. You’ve been stripped, so therefore… Col. 3:12-17

-           This next chapter is solely focused on our love for God and others, and how that affects our character more than legalistic fear ever could.

·         1 Corinthians 13 (love)

ü  (1-3) What (good things) do you do that are not motivated by love? How will you change that?

ü  (4-7) What characteristics of love do you need to grow in?

ü  (8-10) When has God only given you partial answers? Did you eventually see a purpose for what happened?

v  Homework: (9-11) Over this next week pay attention to how you behave… are there any ways in which you are still a child?

-          Tonight we talked about how love affects our success as Christ followers. We’re not trying on our own power to overcome an internal demon – we’ve been freed! Who we used to be has been replaced with a godly nature and we are righteous. Not only do reflect the image of Christ, we carry it. As we leave this week, let’s keep our focus heavenward and experience victory!

Finding Freedom.

Last night I did something really difficult. I obeyed. I obeyed God in the fullness of what he says in 1 Corinthians 5, which is something I've been afraid to do until now. But God said it, so what's it going to take? I was so dreading it, but now... I've never felt more alive and filled and blessed. God will take care of it because I obeyed, just like he promises in Romans 2.

Sometimes God asks us to do really challenging things and we feel like we're being ordered around or restrained. 
After all, we're doing what we're doing because we chose it, right? 
We have the power to stop when we want, right? 
It's not so bad, right? 
We're in control, right?
It's not fair for God to take that from us, right?

False.

1 Corinthians 7 says that we were slaves to sin until Christ saved us and made us slaves to him instead. From one slavery to the next? Doesn't sound too great.. until we keep reading. Our slavery is really son-ship because we've been adopted (Romans 8:15) and we obey our Father because we love him and we choose to (1 John 5). And this is true freedom because, although the law came to condemn sin in us (Romans 8), it is ultimately for freedom that we've been set free (Galatians 5).

It's that very freedom bubbles up and makes me strong. It fills me up even as I let go of the things that used to "fill" me. I don't need them anymore.

For the longest time I knew the sin that "filled" me was a temporary fix, but I waited on consequences to "bring me around" to righteousness. "Once I hurt, I'll stop." But if you know the end result needs to be repentance and redemption, then why go through the pain of getting there? It is far better to make a tangible change now in faith that God will fill you better than sin might.

And he will.

Obedience is crazy because it's totally a choice. But it's so worth it. It takes a lot of pressure off too because it puts the follow through back on God, and he blesses it.

God becomes enough. You don't really need anyone else. Don't get me wrong, people are great. In fact, we need them to hold us accountable to the things we claim as truth - they keep us from being hypocrites. They are also necessary since we are called to love and serve one another (Galatians 5) - how can we love our neighbor if we don't have one? But our neighbor isn't what makes us whole. Our neighbor isn't our hope, our security, our joy... They're our mission that God alone prepares us for.

So now we come to it:
Who are you really serving?
Are you who you say you are?
Is God really your God?
If he is, is his word really his words?
If they are, then what the heck are you doing?

All throughout the New Testament the Bible says you're either a child of God or you're not (read it for yourself!!) - there is no in between. Who are we to hold on to our "little sins" because they make us feel good? How selfish. And untrue. They aren't genuinely fulfilling and we know it. They hurt us and keep us from helping others. It's hard to let go... but... it's really not. We need to so... why not?

If we believe it, we need to believe all of it. If we obey it, we need to obey all of it. If we love God, we need to love him with all we are, not just the pieces we're willing to give.

So how about it: are you in or out?

Boaz

A couple weeks ago I had made a post called Haughty Waves and Hearts. In that post I had mentioned a study I'd done on the book of Ruth, and have received feedback that some people would like to see what I came up with, so here it is!

In chapter one we meet Ruth. Her husband and his brother had died, leaving both her and her sister-in-law widows along with their poor mother-in-law, Naomi, who had also been widowed shortly before. Naomi released her daughters-in-law, telling them to go home to their own people and gods, and find happiness. Ruth stayed. She stayed even though the main goal of a woman in that day (and this one.. who are we kidding?) was to be married. She followed Naomi and her God even though the odds were stacked against her remarriage.

      When God leads you, don't let your hope for romance alter you decision, or - rather - don't allow that desire to alter your willingness to be led. Just go. Think of the kingdom and how to serve others - not yourself.

In chapter two Ruth unintentionally finds herself in Boaz's field who - with no ulterior motive of his own - shows her kindness in the name of the God they serve in common. He tells his workers to respect her, to not embarrass her, to treat her like a lady.

      When you find a good man, he will go out of his way to benefit you simply because it's right. He doesn't do it because he's hoping for a "future" with you. He does it because he's a gentleman. Also, you need to be equally yoked. You must serve the same God with the same heart, or you will never know peace or unity.

In chapter three Mama Naomi devises a match-making plot which Ruth obeys. As the plan unfolds, Ruth finds herself completely at the mercy of Boaz - both physically and reputation-wise. Though he could have greedily taken Ruth immediately, Boaz does what is right. He respects her body and admits that there may be a man better suited for her. He does her unselfish kindness and preserves her good character. He doesn't take advantage of her. 

      In the same way, a godly man will recognize what healthy and righteous courses of action are, even if you give him the opportunity to act on impulse. He won't use you. He also has your best in mind, and realizes that he may not be it. He's open to God's best for you, no matter what that is.

In the final chapter, Boaz surrounds himself with respectable men and gives another family member who is "more qualified" to marry Ruth the opportunity to do so. He speaks well of her, calling her a "noble woman". Trusting in the Lord to take as He saw fit, Boaz was willing to let Ruth go - because though he loved her, he loved the will of the Lord more. The man in question refused, however, so the right to marry Ruth automatically passed on to Boaz. Only after receiving the legal green light and marrying Ruth in proper order did Boaz go to her sexually. And then, the Lord allowed her to conceive. The child was a gift. Born out of obedience.

      A godly man won't take from you physically before you exchange vows. Why? Because he doesn't need to. He is receiving his fullness from Christ, and there are no "holes" for you to fill in his heart. Boaz was fine before Ruth came along, such will be the case for the godly man, and such should be the case for a godly you. God should be your everything, you shouldn't be looking. Your godly man won't use your body for pleasure. Sexuality is a privilege you receive after marriage, and the children that result from it are gifts that God allows you to have - not something accidents smite you with. 

Haughty Waves and Hearts.

Tonight I sat by the ocean with God.

He walked me through Ruth and showed me some crazy things about walking in his will and being selfless, especially in regards to relationships. If you'd like to read those, click here. But really blew my mind is what happened after I put the books down.

As usual, I asked God what he wanted to do next. He told me to go stand by the water. First of all, as I approached the waves I was filled with overwhelming awe and gratefulness to live where I do. I felt so small, but simultaneously significant standing there by that big blue.

It was what happened when I rolled my jeans to my knees and stood where the waves could lap my feet, however, that shook my heart - I stood there watching the waves. They were chaotic, their timing unmeasured, their spacing erratic. They stumbled and ricocheted off one another like unsteady children who had spun in circles and were now wildly dancing. Dodging, leaping, singing. They danced this way from out to sea towards where I stood until their haphazard legs could carry them no further. There on the shoreline they collapsed in a thunderous heap, flinging bits of foam five to six feet into the air, and spilling the waters they'd held in their arms onto the sand before them. This water rushed to my feet like eager hands intent on pulling me back in with them, but by the time they'd reached me they only had the strength to gently lap over and caress my toes before returning to where the next line of dancing squalls were hurling themselves onto the sand.

As I watched I began to notice a pattern: each time the waves crashed the backwash from the previous waves would counteract their forward rush, eating away at it until they finally met at the exact location that the crashes occurred. At this point the next wave, no longer impeded by the residual effects of its predecessor would stampede towards my legs excitedly. It was at this precise moment that my instinct told me to rip my feet free from the small hole they'd been sinking into, and escape the oncoming offender.

But my God told me, "No. Stay put."

It all happened in an instant, but that was all the helpless terror that immediately seized my heart needed to make its impression. The greedy wave swirled up and around my legs violently before retreating to its comrades. I looked down at my pant legs and was astonished to see that the water had literally stopped at the bottom of my rolled up jeans.

And the Lord spoke, "If you stand where I have placed you, nothing will ever be too much for you to handle. Things are scary from a distance, but I will cut them down before you so that by the time they reach you my hand will sustain your heart. I want to give you all that you need to forgive and  love the waves life sends you because I am God, and you are my daughter."

"Who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, "Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed?"

(Job 38:8-11)

Black Lights and Big Bugs.

Did you know that scorpions glow in the dark? You do now.

Another thing you might not know, is that I'm a teacher in training. I love what I do. In addition to lesson planning and teaching, I've been trying to experience as many events as I can while I'm still "learning". This last week was no different. Last Thursday was STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) night, and I loved it with all my heart!

I'll admit, I participated originally out of obligation and a desire to be as "visible" as possible, but by the end of the evening I would've happily done it again for the sole purpose of exploring and appreciating the wonders of God's great creation (insects, obviously) with his little children. 

I was given rule over the Emperor Scorpion station - complete with real, live scorpion and black light. This in and of itself was exciting until the woman in charge, as she was briefing me on my 30 second spiel, shined the black light on my little sable specimen. Much to my delight, he turned my favorite shade of blue.

I was sold. 

I excitedly waited at my unassuming station all the way in the farthest corner of the cafeteria for the event to start. My host teacher, who had so very graciously volunteered her cheer-hearted time as well, meandered over to me and asked where she needed to go for her station assignment. 

I pointed her in the direction of the woman I'd spoken to, but before she turned to leave I waved my hand excitedly over my box, "They gave me a live scorpion!" I said ecstatically, "Want to see him?" 

"No thank you," came the short response.

Undaunted, I continued, "He glows in the dark!!"

My host teacher raised a brow, and said immediately with the most unimpressed tone imaginable, "Isn't that special." before turning abruptly in pursuit of the events coordinator. 

I blinked, shook my head, and pulled my little scorpion (who was actually not so little at all - about four inches in length) closer to myself on the table. "There, there," I assured him, "The children will love you."

And they did.

The first few visitors began to trickle in. Students rushed to teachers they knew, and stations that looked evidently more intriguing than my small box and black rod. When they did finally make their way to me, however, not one was disappointed. Minute after minute I watched new pairs of eyes, both young and old, light up in wonder at the mystery of nature. I spewed the facts I'd been given along with a few of my own that I'd looked up in the moments I had between the children and their parents. 

Then my kids came.

 About 8 children from my class showed up and came skipping over to see Miss Becca and gasp at her glowing scorpion. One of them even ran between my station and the others picking up friends to bring them over and make them believers. I was sad to see the night end, but I left with such a feeling of accomplishment. The next morning, however, really topped it off when some of the students who had been there greeted my host teacher (who had also manned an apparently less gripping station for the night) at the door by exclaiming, "Did you see Miss Becca's scorpion last night? It was the coolest thing ever!!"

Yes it was, children. Yes it was.