Haughty Waves and Hearts.

Tonight I sat by the ocean with God.

He walked me through Ruth and showed me some crazy things about walking in his will and being selfless, especially in regards to relationships. If you'd like to read those, click here. But really blew my mind is what happened after I put the books down.

As usual, I asked God what he wanted to do next. He told me to go stand by the water. First of all, as I approached the waves I was filled with overwhelming awe and gratefulness to live where I do. I felt so small, but simultaneously significant standing there by that big blue.

It was what happened when I rolled my jeans to my knees and stood where the waves could lap my feet, however, that shook my heart - I stood there watching the waves. They were chaotic, their timing unmeasured, their spacing erratic. They stumbled and ricocheted off one another like unsteady children who had spun in circles and were now wildly dancing. Dodging, leaping, singing. They danced this way from out to sea towards where I stood until their haphazard legs could carry them no further. There on the shoreline they collapsed in a thunderous heap, flinging bits of foam five to six feet into the air, and spilling the waters they'd held in their arms onto the sand before them. This water rushed to my feet like eager hands intent on pulling me back in with them, but by the time they'd reached me they only had the strength to gently lap over and caress my toes before returning to where the next line of dancing squalls were hurling themselves onto the sand.

As I watched I began to notice a pattern: each time the waves crashed the backwash from the previous waves would counteract their forward rush, eating away at it until they finally met at the exact location that the crashes occurred. At this point the next wave, no longer impeded by the residual effects of its predecessor would stampede towards my legs excitedly. It was at this precise moment that my instinct told me to rip my feet free from the small hole they'd been sinking into, and escape the oncoming offender.

But my God told me, "No. Stay put."

It all happened in an instant, but that was all the helpless terror that immediately seized my heart needed to make its impression. The greedy wave swirled up and around my legs violently before retreating to its comrades. I looked down at my pant legs and was astonished to see that the water had literally stopped at the bottom of my rolled up jeans.

And the Lord spoke, "If you stand where I have placed you, nothing will ever be too much for you to handle. Things are scary from a distance, but I will cut them down before you so that by the time they reach you my hand will sustain your heart. I want to give you all that you need to forgive and  love the waves life sends you because I am God, and you are my daughter."

"Who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, "Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed?"

(Job 38:8-11)